I have an interview on Saturday. Lordy I’m a bit nervous.
Cali in fifteen days. Besides seeing my family I don’t know what I’ll do in the orchards. Catching up on favorite television shows and comic books, maybe a trip down south (or east). It’s going to be anti-climatic.
When my trip to Thailand was cut off, I was surprised by how broken up I felt, like a knife to my gut. I never felt safe about going there, but I was thrilled with the idea of going somewhere new, the possibility of getting lost, learning a few phrases I’d never use again, popping blisters, squatting over a hole for a piss.
I’m going back to teach in Korea next year, but I’m not sure if teaching is what I really want to do, in the states or abroad. All I know is that I can be really good at it, and there are days when I really dread it. And then there are the kids–my youngest are total sweethearts, but I can’t help but wonder if they’ll turn out like my older lot, who are rather spoiled and just so tired of English.
I enjoy living in Korea, even in the dead of this bitter winter, but I wish I could take a more physical role, one where I didn’t have to think so much. Fourteen months ago I was working at a bank, and my favorite part was hauling boxes of receipts and checks. A few years ago I boxed peaches, and the pay was dirt but it was worth it, just to wipe the sweat from my brow. I’m pretty small-boned but I always enjoy throwing my weight around. It’s my idea of an old-fashioned romance.
At the same time, I really want to go out and help people, people who really need it.
I know it’s time to plunge my roots somewhere and start thinking about a house, a career and, God willing, a family. If I could only be a few years younger, too green and dumb for my own good–